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#819c

April 15, 2016

The quote says, “The real is … explosive in its effect on the mind.”

Funny. As I wrote the sentence above, I felt resistance.
I think I want “explosive in its effect on the mind,” but obviously something does not want that.

What does not want “explosive in its effect on the mind”?
“I do not want it.”
Who is “I”?
No answer.

What do I see here?

The resistant reaction, which was known in both mind and body, was initial and immediate without deeper looking. In deeper looking, it disappeared.

I don’t have a name for that initial and immediate reaction. I will call it “the surface phantom.” I’m sure the surface phantom is what people call ego. It is what people call the false self. Most importantly, it is what I have been calling me.

I cannot be the surface phantom, because it doesn’t exist.
So, who am I?
The answer lies behind and beyond the surface phantom.

From → #803-819, Step 4

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